Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Not knowing how I got here.

I can not believe that i am less then a month away from being a missionary. LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. I've been getting a lot of really great advice... but it would be a lie to say that i've thought anything through. For once i know where i belong... Its not a feel that i can say i have had often in this life. Wow That was deep and almost too deep for a public place.... I wish that i could write about magic dust and rainbows but i can't. Writiing is one of the only time where i feel that i can truly be myself. I don't care about the world... it just me and old man english. How great the world would be if we all thought with our heart.. sadly i believe that this is a lost cause. This is not my world and the dreams of the believe not long grow in the heart of man. My only hope is that on my mission that i can change the feelings that are lowing in my heart tonight... How can you feel when this life might not be real.
Am I bleassed--- I know that I am. Tonight i went to the temple... I did not want to leave. Every one tells me "when your on your mission get lost in the work.. don't worry about home.. just get lost" . If a mission is anything like the temple where i find myself with a clear mind and the place where my voice does not over power my mind.. I'm all game. I long to be lost.. Lost form this world and more importantly lost from myself. Looking for no where.. not knowing how i got here. -d

No comments: